Comfort levels/anxiety

I know I have talked about this before, so here we go again.

It’s been a minute since I have had a major issue with anxiety, but the last couple of times that I have workout, I hit a high level. I will say, though, that at least I was in a positive environment. Maybe that was the reason that I didn’t get too overwhelmed, physically. I know that when things like this happen at Plyofit, I can be open about anything to anyone there. It still felt like I hit a high, though, but I held it in. I didn’t know how to quite explain how I felt because I was a little embarrassed.

I did say something, though.

I think if we all had the choice, we would all like to be more mobile. This is what I want. A huge goal of mine. I want to be able to move faster. I feel like this is slowly happening but it’s such a slow process. It’s nice when you do see improvement but, again, it’s such a slow process.

One of my goals, is to be able to get up from the ground without any type of support. Looking back, I know that I have grown a lot in this area especially since when I walked into Plyofit. I didn’t dare get down on the floor at that time. Even with support, I was just too heavy to get up where there wasn’t a possibility of getting hurt. It probably seems like I’m exaggerating, but I can think back to when I actually tried. I remember getting down on the floor, at my house, only to struggle to get back up. It was bad. I remember one time getting down to the floor so that I could try an exercise out at my house that I probably sat on the floor for a good 20 minutes before I tried to get up again. At the time, I didn’t have anything to hold onto so I had to scoot over to a table in the room to lean on for support. This was about two months after starting PlyoFit and a year before I actually did any floor exercises at PlyoFit.

Of course, that was then. I may be doing floor exercises now but they aren’t my best work. I still have a long way to go before I’m moving quick to get up and down from the floor.

This last weekend, I had an exercise on the floor and when I went to get up, I used the Dynamax ball for support. I always use things for support. Sometimes it’s a dumbbell or a kettlebell or even the wall. Sometimes if I’m by the tire, I’ll use it to help lift myself up. This is what I’m used to. I guess I never told Carlos this because it’s not something that you tell someone. Honestly, before I get on the floor I usually know how I’m going to get up. I search for things around me that I know will help. Well, I’m not sure what prompted me to tell Carlos that I used the Dynamax ball for support but I did. He asked me why and then he told me that I could do it without it. Then he took it from me. My anxiety shot up. I was so uncomfortable and anxious. I got up fast and without any help BUT I felt overwhelmed.

The next day, he did it again. This time, though, it took me longer to attempt to get up without anything only because of my stress level. It was high. I wanted to cry. I was upset at him for pushing me out of my comfort zone. He talked me down and told me that I could do it and that he was there to support me, if I needed it.

I get it, though. He’s right. I can do it without the help. I’m just used to the survival mode.