Focus

So, I’ve lot a little bit off focus this week. I’ve been in a rut and it really is painful.  I’m not even sure how to deal. My brain keeps telling me to just kick it back into gear but emotionally, I have been a complete mess. It seems to be the norm, though. One week will be great and the next will be just a complete mess.

I haven’t said anything about this, yet, but I’m pretty sure it’s all circling around my hurt foot. I’ve kind of been in denial about the whole thing…thinking it would get better faster if I didn’t talk about it. This has not been the case. It hurts at times, but it hurts more when I think about how much it has slowed me down.

I know that it will heal, but it feels like a lifetime has gone by since I have been 100%. I know it’s a part of the process, but I still get pissed when I think about it. Yeah, I know, it’s a bit dramatic, but I feel like I’m failing when I’m not able to do what I need to do. Actually, it’s not even that. It’s more of what I want to do. It’s slowed me down quite a bit. It’s changed my attitude. Which sucks. I don’t quite realize it until I start annoying myself.  Which isn’t a great feeling.

I know. Suck it up and fix it. I will.

It’s funny because I’m also mainly pissed because my routine has changed. I’m overthinking about my injury. I’m realizing that a small injury like this changes everything. It changes how I am at work and at the gym. It messes with my mind and I convince myself that this is the way it is now and I’m just going to have to live with it. 

This injury, although, a pain in my ass, has taught me something, though. Exercising is another thing that I love. This is a drug to me. Great. Another addiction. At least, this one is slowing taking over the other. It’s difficult, though, because of the limitations. (especially when being hurt) I can’t do what I want to do, yet. I’m slowly working up to it, but I know that I’ll eventually make it. It’s just been slow as hell.

I need some inspiration.