September of 2015…

Imagine where you were three years ago…

I was posed this thought the other day as I lay tired, sweaty, and exhausted on the floor of Plyofit, one of my favorite places. Lucky to be taking part of an annual ritual for every Plyofit client…the birthday workout. Something that I have looked forward to all year. Now there’s a statement I never thought I would think, say out loud, or write down but here we are. So, as this thought, which was brought upon by Carlos, went through my mind it was his way to get me through the last few reps I had left…This really got me thinking. Where was I three years ago?

I was teaching 2nd grade at a brand new school. I was walking around with a smile on my face because that’s how I handled everything. I think I was content but I don’t believe I was completely happy with myself.  A part of me was always worried. I had all of these dreams, whether work or just life related, but I figured my weight would stop them in their tracks for many reasons. That wasn’t enough for me to do anything about it, though. I wasn’t ready to face the reality. I went through the motions for the most part because I didn’t have an outlet except for food and just being immobile. Again, I knew that this would deter any plans I had. Physically, I was in a place where most of my moving was from my car to my classroom along with some minimal movement in the classroom. I found ways around having to be mobile. I was lazy and I was good at it. I went home and I was lazy. I didn’t know any different because that’s who I was. Now, don’t get me wrong…this doesn’t make a person but I do believe it can break a person. I think I was almost there. Inside I was sad. I was angry at myself. I was embarrassed and I felt defeated. These were things I could change and I knew this, but honestly, what was more important? Breaking this bad cycle or not have to expend the energy? What would be easier? Trying or not trying? Questions that I would ask myself on a daily basis because if you at least think about changing, you are making an effort, right??? Right??? Again, none of this worked out for me.

So let’s talk physical…In 2015, I couldn’t touch my toes. I couldn’t walk a mile. I couldn’t stand, but for a few minutes at a time, without hurting. I definitely couldn’t do jackknives or squats. I love that these are things that I can say aren’t as difficult as they once were. Now, again, don’t get me wrong, I have a long way to go but as time passes and I spend more time doing these things, I feel like I make small significant changes because I’ve found something that I enjoy. I’ve found something that I can be proud of and say that I give 100% every time I do it.

Maybe the reasons I started Plyofit weren’t completely the right ones, but deep down I knew that it was the right thing. It’s funny because it did take a little bit of a push to get me into the gym, and I honestly would have bet money that I wouldn’t have stuck it out. I figured I would quit before it got to be something that I would even think twice about. I did prove myself wrong without trying to. I’m so glad I did. It’s the best thing I could have done for myself.

That was the long answer to the question…

Here’s the short answer to ‘where were you three years ago?’…Nowhere near where I am now. It’s amazing what you can do in a year and a half.

Just to remember where I was, these are some pictures from September of 2015. The change, although not as different as I’d like, is there, and on some days harder for me to see. I look at these pictures and I know exactly how I was feeling. Tired, worried, and just living a life I thought I deserved. One that I didn’t appreciate. Now, I can truly say that I am working hard to live my best life for me.