A win…

So, I had a win today. Lately, I’ve been noticing more and more non-scale victories which have made me much more appreciative of some of the hard work I’ve been putting in at the gym. Today was a good day.

Before I get into a couple of my victories, I want to reflect back on this time last year.

Last year, August 2017, we were heading back to school and we had convocation at Trinity. I remember being a little apprehensive because of my anxiety with new places and just not knowing my environment. I’ve written about my anxiety before and I can’t stress how much it can throw me off my game. At the time, my anxiety was that I’d never really been to the auditorium we were going to, it was just a crazy amount of people, and there was going to be a lot of walking. Last year, I was pleasantly surprised that I did not have trouble walking around or handling the stairs. It was much easier than it had ever been. I remember even having that private moment in my head where I couldn’t believe that I was not having that much of a stressful time. I even texted Carlos about my ‘win’.

Now, this year was different. I wasn’t as nervous to actually attend convocation. I think I’ve made a lot of progress when it comes to my anxiety, but I guess it never really goes away. I haven’t had too many conversations about these anxieties (only with selective people) because they are personal and a little embarrassing. Well, a lot embarrassing to me. Now, I say that I wasn’t as nervous, only because I was nervous. It’s really silly, but one thing that had me not really wanting to go was we had to take a bus ride to the event. Buses and I don’t go together. Partly because of my hips. Trying to get down an aisle of a bus is crazy ridiculous when you have wide hips and a big butt. I’ve always struggled with this. Usually, if I had to ride a school bus for some reason, I made it a point to sit in the front and got on the bus first so I didn’t have to bump into people up and down the aisle.  I mean it’s not that I couldn’t get to the back seats but it was not easy.  I mean not easy at all. Like really not easy.

BUT…(pun intended) This year I sat in the middle.  Also, I made the bus wait for me because I was chattin’ it up with Melissa and Lesley so when I got to the bus it was full of people. I didn’t stress out about having to walk down the aisle with a bus full of people. I hopped on, walked down the aisle, and found a seat. Honestly, it was such a beautiful and silly moment for me and I felt proud for that moment.

Other small victories…seats were comfy, stairs were easy to climb, and lots of compliments from people I hadn’t seen all summer. All good things to warm a girl’s heart. It was a good day.